well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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