Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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