I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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