The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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