I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
