we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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