I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i've created a new STD.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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