pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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