I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea