my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
