Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize