I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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