Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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