Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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