Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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