just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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