I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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