When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
