Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
