he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
