Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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