He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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