She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
