it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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