Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
