then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
