just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My vagina is very pro this idea
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You left your phone here
Wait...
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