i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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