I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
