well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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