I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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