i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
