Pappa wants mamma naked
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
