the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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