just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We need to get me chipped asap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
