he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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