Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize