Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
