The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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