normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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