people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
