I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
