How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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