remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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