is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize