if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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