Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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