Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
