Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
