We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
