So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize