Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
