And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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