i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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