i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
