also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
