I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
